Sometimes people do silly things. Maybe someone forgets their shoes or tries to eat soup with a fork. Instead of just calling them silly, people often use similes to explain it in a funnier way. A simile is when we compare two things using words like “as” or “like.” So, when someone says, “He’s as sharp as a bowling ball,” they don’t mean he’s actually a ball; they mean he’s not thinking clearly.
In this article, we’ll look at similes that people use when talking about someone who is not acting smart. These are not meant to be mean, but to help describe silly or clueless behavior in a playful way. You’ll learn what each simile means, how to use it, and even get to test your knowledge at the end. Ready to see how silly similes can be? Let’s get started.
Similes for Idiots
1. As smart as a rock
Meaning: Not very smart
Within a Sentence: He tried to use a spoon to cut paper; he’s as smart as a rock. / She thought cows laid eggs; she’s as smart as a rock.
In Other Words: He’s not thinking clearly. / She’s acting silly.
2. Like a screen door on a submarine
Meaning: Useless or not thinking well
Within a Sentence: He made a boat out of paper, like a screen door on a submarine. / That plan is like a screen door on a submarine.
In Other Words: It doesn’t make sense. / Not a good idea.
3. As bright as a burnt-out bulb
Meaning: Lacking common sense
Within a Sentence: She tried to charge her phone in the toaster; she’s as bright as a burnt-out bulb. / He wore socks on his hands; it was not very bright.
In Other Words: She wasn’t thinking. / That idea was not smart.
4. Like a sandwich with no filling
Meaning: Missing something important
Within a Sentence: His answer was like a sandwich with no filling; it didn’t make sense. / That plan felt empty, like a sandwich with no filling.
In Other Words: Something was missing. / Not complete thinking.
5. As quick as a turtle on ice
Meaning: Very slow to understand
Within a Sentence: He didn’t get the joke; he’s as quick as a turtle on ice. / She finally understood after ten minutes, like a turtle on ice.
In Other Words: He was slow to get it. / She took a long time.
6. Like a pencil with no point
Meaning: Not helpful or clear-headed
Within a Sentence: His idea was like a pencil with no point; it went nowhere. / That plan is like a pencil with no point.
In Other Words: It didn’t make sense. / It wasn’t useful.
7. As sharp as a marble
Meaning: Not smart
Within a Sentence: She said water was dry, she’s as sharp as a marble. / He spelled “dog” with a Q, he’s not very sharp.
In Other Words: She’s not thinking clearly. / That was not smart.
8. Like a car with no engine
Meaning: Going nowhere, no brain power
Within a Sentence: His idea was like a car with no engine, no power behind it. / She’s like a car with no engine when it comes to math.
In Other Words: It had no direction. / She gets stuck easily.
9. As deep as a puddle
Meaning: Not thoughtful
Within a Sentence: That story was as deep as a puddle; it had no real meaning. / His thinking is often shallow, like a puddle.
In Other Words: He doesn’t think hard. / The idea was simple.
10. Like a clock with no hands
Meaning: Confusing or pointless
Within a Sentence: That answer was like a clock with no hands. / Her thoughts were all over, like a clock with no hands.
In Other Words: It didn’t help. / No sense in it.
11. As helpful as a broken crayon
Meaning: Not helpful at all
Within a Sentence: His directions were as helpful as a broken crayon. / That suggestion was like a broken crayon, useless.
In Other Words: It didn’t help. / It was no good.
12. Like a flashlight with dead batteries
Meaning: Not useful when needed
Within a Sentence: He froze in the test like a flashlight with dead batteries. / She forgot her lines, like a flashlight with no power.
In Other Words: He was stuck. / She couldn’t help.
13. As sharp as wet spaghetti
Meaning: Not smart or ready
Within a Sentence: He couldn’t follow the game; he’s as sharp as wet spaghetti. / That comment was as sharp as noodles.
In Other Words: He wasn’t paying attention. / The idea didn’t work.
14. Like a balloon with no air
Meaning: Lacking energy or ideas
Within a Sentence: Her answer was like a balloon with no air, flat. / He sat in class like a balloon with no air.
In Other Words: No energy. / No thinking.
15. As aware as a sleeping cat
Meaning: Not paying attention
Within a Sentence: He missed every question; he’s as aware as a sleeping cat. / She didn’t notice anything.
In Other Words: Not alert. / Missed everything.
16. Like a GPS with no signal
Meaning: Lost, confused
Within a Sentence: He got lost in the hallway, like a GPS with no signal. / That plan went nowhere.
In Other Words: Totally confused. / No sense of direction.
17. As fast as a sloth in glue
Meaning: Very slow thinker
Within a Sentence: It took him forever to answer, like a sloth in glue. / She moves slow when thinking.
In Other Words: Too slow. / Not quick.
18. Like a fish on a bicycle
Meaning: Out of place or not right
Within a Sentence: That idea was like a fish on a bicycle; it didn’t belong. / He was confused like a fish on a bike.
In Other Words: Didn’t fit. / Made no sense.
19. As useful as a chocolate teapot
Meaning: Not useful at all
Within a Sentence: That advice was as useful as a chocolate teapot. / His help was sweet but melted away.
In Other Words: Didn’t work. / Fell apart quickly.
20. Like a book with no pages
Meaning: Empty, no knowledge
Within a Sentence: His story was like a book with no pages. / She talks a lot, but it’s all empty.
In Other Words: No facts. / No real content.
21. As wise as a goose in traffic
Meaning: Very silly
Within a Sentence: He walked into the wrong class, like a goose in traffic. / That plan? Goose-smart.
In Other Words: Not thinking. / Very silly.
22. Like a soda without fizz
Meaning: Dull or lacking spark
Within a Sentence: His answer was like soda without fizz, flat. / Her joke had no pop.
In Other Words: Boring. / Not smart.
23. As focused as a fly in a jar
Meaning: Can’t focus at all
Within a Sentence: He bounced around like a fly in a jar. / No focus at all.
In Other Words: All over the place. / Confused.
24. Like a computer with no screen
Meaning: Missing key parts
Within a Sentence: Her story was like a computer with no screen. / Nothing could be seen.
In Other Words: It didn’t show anything. / Didn’t make sense.
25. As clever as a stick
Meaning: Not clever
Within a Sentence: He said dogs meow, he’s as clever as a stick. / No smart thoughts.
In Other Words: Not bright. / Very silly.
26. Like using a fork to drink soup
Meaning: Doing something the wrong way
Within a Sentence: She tried solving math with a guess, like soup with a fork. / Doesn’t work that way.
In Other Words: Bad method. / Silly idea.
27. As ready as toast in the freezer
Meaning: Not ready at all
Within a Sentence: He said he was ready, but forgot everything. / Not ready, like frozen toast.
In Other Words: Totally unprepared. / No clue.
28. Like a kite with no string
Meaning: Out of control
Within a Sentence: His ideas flew off like a kite with no string. / She wasn’t thinking straight.
In Other Words: No control. / Too wild.
29. As clear as mud
Meaning: Not clear at all
Within a Sentence: That explanation was as clear as mud. / No one understood it.
In Other Words: Totally confusing. / Didn’t help.
30. Like toast in a rainstorm
Meaning: Falls apart easily
Within a Sentence: He couldn’t handle the pressure, like toast in the rain. / She gave up too fast.
In Other Words: Not strong. / Falls apart quickly.
31. As sharp as a jellybean
Meaning: Not sharp at all
Within a Sentence: His thinking was jellybean-sharp. / She missed the point completely.
In Other Words: Not smart. / Missed it.
32. Like using sunglasses at night
Meaning: Not thinking right
Within a Sentence: He wore shades inside, like night glasses. / Makes no sense.
In Other Words: Pointless. / Silly.
33. As awake as a rock
Meaning: Totally unaware
Within a Sentence: He didn’t notice anything, like a rock. / She sat still like a stone.
In Other Words: Not alert. / No clue.
34. Like a light switch in a cave
Meaning: Doesn’t help
Within a Sentence: His idea was like a switch in a cave, no light. / She had no clue.
In Other Words: Useless. / Didn’t help.
35. As full of sense as a paper bag in a storm
Meaning: Falls apart easily
Within a Sentence: Her plan had no strength, like a paper bag. / He couldn’t hold his idea.
In Other Words: Weak idea. / Doesn’t work.
36. Like jelly trying to stand up
Meaning: Wobbly or unsure
Within a Sentence: He looked unsure, like standing jelly. / Her idea kept falling.
In Other Words: Unsteady. / Not solid.
37. As handy as a wet sock
Meaning: Not useful
Within a Sentence: That answer was like a wet sock, yuck, and not helpful. / No help at all.
In Other Words: Pointless. / Didn’t do the job.
38. Like a DVD in a toaster
Meaning: Wrong place or use
Within a Sentence: He tried fixing the TV with a spoon, like a DVD in a toaster. / Totally wrong.
In Other Words: Not smart. / Not working.
39. As focused as bubbles in wind
Meaning: All over the place
Within a Sentence: Her mind went everywhere, like bubbles. / Couldn’t stay on task.
In Other Words: Distracted. / No focus.
40. Like a snowman in the desert
Meaning: Totally wrong fit
Within a Sentence: That idea melted like a snowman in the desert. / Didn’t belong.
In Other Words: Wrong place. / Didn’t work.
41. As on track as a squirrel on coffee
Meaning: Too jumpy or confused
Within a Sentence: He couldn’t stop jumping, like a squirrel on coffee. / Too much movement.
In Other Words: Out of control. / No calm thinking.
42. Like reading with your eyes closed
Meaning: Can’t learn that way
Within a Sentence: He studied while napping, with eyes closed. / She didn’t learn a thing.
In Other Words: Didn’t help. / Not smart.
43. As useful as a snow shovel in summer
Meaning: Wrong tool for the job
Within a Sentence: That advice was for winter, not now. / Not the time.
In Other Words: Not helpful. / Wrong choice.
44. Like trying to nail jelly to a wall
Meaning: Impossible
Within a Sentence: Getting him to focus is like nailing jelly. / Won’t happen.
In Other Words: No way. / Can’t do it.
45. As clueless as a goldfish
Meaning: Very lost
Within a Sentence: She walked in circles, clueless like a goldfish. / He kept forgetting.
In Other Words: No clue. / Totally lost.
46. Like asking a cat to do math
Meaning: No chance of success
Within a Sentence: That’s like cat math, but it never works. / She didn’t get it at all.
In Other Words: No chance. / Makes no sense.
47. As mixed up as puzzle pieces in a blender
Meaning: Very confused
Within a Sentence: His thoughts were blender puzzle pieces. / Totally scrambled.
In Other Words: Lost. / Confused.
48. Like trying to teach toast to sing
Meaning: Can’t be done
Within a Sentence: That idea won’t work, it’s toast singing. / Waste of time.
In Other Words: Impossible. / Silly.
49. As lost as a sock in a dryer
Meaning: Missing or confused
Within a Sentence: He disappeared like a sock in a dryer. / No idea where he went.
In Other Words: Gone. / Confused.
50. Like a dog driving a bus
Meaning: Totally wrong person for the job
Within a Sentence: Giving him the lead is like dog bus driving. / Wild and wrong.
In Other Words: Not right for it. / Bad idea.
51. As ready as a banana in a toolbox
Meaning: Not at all prepared
Within a Sentence: He brought snacks instead of homework, like a banana in a toolbox. / That plan was banana-level ready.
In Other Words: Totally unprepared. / Didn’t belong.
52. Like a map with no roads
Meaning: Confusing and unhelpful
Within a Sentence: His plan was like a map with no roads, no way to follow it. / She gave instructions like a map with nothing on it.
In Other Words: No clear path. / Not helpful.
53. As smart as a doorknob
Meaning: Not smart at all
Within a Sentence: He tried to plug his phone into the TV, smart as a doorknob. / Her guess was doorknob-smart.
In Other Words: Not thinking. / Silly mistake.
54. Like a boat with holes
Meaning: Falling apart, not working
Within a Sentence: That excuse was like a boat with holes; it sank fast. / His story didn’t hold up.
In Other Words: Full of problems. / Didn’t work.
55. As alert as a rock in the sun
Meaning: Not alert
Within a Sentence: He missed the whole thing, rock-in-the-sun alert. / She didn’t notice a thing.
In Other Words: Totally unaware. / Not paying attention.
56. Like trying to bake cookies in the freezer
Meaning: Wrong approach
Within a Sentence: His idea to fix the printer with tape was freezer-cookie thinking. / Didn’t make sense.
In Other Words: Won’t work. / Bad idea.
57. As organized as spilled cereal
Meaning: Messy and all over
Within a Sentence: Her desk was as organized as spilled cereal. / His thoughts were all over.
In Other Words: Big mess. / No order.
58. Like a frog reading a book
Meaning: Not right for the task
Within a Sentence: He tried to fix a bike without tools, a frog-reading-a-book moment. / No clue what to do.
In Other Words: Didn’t fit. / Not the right match.
59. As clear as a foggy mirror
Meaning: Hard to understand
Within a Sentence: That answer was as clear as a foggy mirror. / We couldn’t follow her story.
In Other Words: Very confusing. / Hard to see the point.
60. Like a toaster making ice
Meaning: Doing something it shouldn’t
Within a Sentence: That idea was like a toaster making ice, just wrong. / He tried to fix it the weirdest way.
In Other Words: Not smart. / Didn’t make sense.
Similes for Idiots – True/False Quiz
Read each sentence and decide if it makes sense as a simile for someone acting silly or not thinking clearly.
- Saying “He’s as sharp as a marble” means he is very smart.
True / False - “Her plan was like a boat with holes” means it had problems.
True / False - If someone says “He’s as quick as a turtle on ice,” they are saying he thinks fast.
True / False - “That idea was like a toaster making ice” means it made perfect sense.
True / False - “She acted like a fish on a bicycle” means she was doing something helpful.
True / False - “As smart as a doorknob” is a simile for someone not thinking clearly.
True / False - “Like trying to bake cookies in the freezer” means the idea was smart.
True / False - “His excuse was like a book with no pages” means it had no useful info.
True / False - “Her thinking was as clear as a foggy mirror” means she explained things well.
True / False - “He was as helpful as a broken crayon” means he did a great job.
True / False - “She’s as deep as a puddle” means she thinks very deeply.
True / False - “Like using a fork to drink soup” means someone is doing something the wrong way.
True / False - “He’s like a GPS with no signal” means he knows exactly what to do.
True / False - “That idea is as ready as toast in the freezer” means it’s fully prepared.
True / False - “Like a snowman in the desert” means it fits perfectly.
True / False
Answer Key
- False
- True
- False
- False
- False
- True
- False
- True
- False
- False
- False
- True
- False
- False
- False
Scoring Guide
- 15 Correct Answers: Similes Master!
- 10–14 Correct Answers: You really get similes, nice work!
- 6–9 Correct Answers: You’re learning, keep going!
- 0–5 Correct Answers: Let’s learn about similes together!
Conclusion
Similes can help us talk about silly or confusing actions in a funny and clear way. Instead of just saying someone is not thinking, we use fun comparisons like “as sharp as a marble” or “like a car with no engine.” These phrases help us explain things better.
Now that you’ve learned these similes, try listening for them or using them in your own writing. They can make your stories more fun and easy to understand. Keep practicing, and you’ll get better at using them every day.
